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christmas, Christmas eve, holiday, humor, Jesus, Opinions, Santa, Santa Claus, search terms, Urban Dictionary

Chirstmas Eve 1928. "Christmas Eve in the...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It is Christmas Eve! This year, we were blessed with yucky weather, two kids coughing, one dog barking and digging in the mud… So it has not been that festive here, but I do have to say that even with all of that it was nice for the kids to lounge around in their PJs all day.

Since I have not written in a while (for which I am sorry, but December has been busy and a tad bit overwhelming), I thought I would cheer myself up by granting some of the wishes of the people who found this blog using a search engine. I am afraid they may not have found what they are looking for, but I can be a great Santa and deliver to them a special Christmas wish.

1. “Pumpkin Penis“

Well, I hate to break it to this reader, but pumpkins do not have penises. That is why you were not able to find out more about them here at my blog. However, according to the Urban Dictionary, the term “pumpkin dick” exists and maybe that is what you were really after. I am not going to give the definition hear, but you can check it out over there if you are interested.

Some people do like carving pumpkins and squashes into penises as well. Maybe you were looking for ideas…So I found a picture of a realistic carving, at http://www.foodbeast, to inspire you. Maybe you will get one of these in your stocking tomorrow. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful Christmas surprise from Santa. Personally, I will stick to asking for less phallic items.

2. “gag reflex poop”

This reflex kind of confused me. I am guessing they were looking for information about what to do if their gag reflex makes them poop. Seriously, that would be a terrible condition to have and hopefully they found a cure, because I am no doctor and cannot offer too much advice.

Then it occurred to me that maybe they gag when they see or smell poop, and then I would say that is perfectly normal (or as normal as I am and I think that is pretty normal). I do have a helpful hint. If you have to clean up poop and you gag when you smell poop, then spray your shoulder with perfume or cologne. Keep your nose plastered to your shoulder when you have to clean up the poop. It works pretty well for smell sensitivity.

Now, for Christmas, I would recommend staying away from poop and maybe they can convince their significant other or a family member to give them this certificate.

I found the coupon here, so if this one is not exactly what you wanted to give or receive you can hop on over there and personalize your own!

3. “ding dong ding dong”

Wish granted?

Maybe this is what you were hoping for?

4. “craft ideas for frat boys“

I kind of like the picture in my head of frat boys sitting around a table doing crafts, so I have to help this person out. I remember lots of plastic cups at Frat parties from my days in college, so I think they may like the idea of crafting something out of those leftover or used cups.

Source: bit-of-green.com via Tara on Pinterest

Hello great idea!!

Source: squidoo.com via Wild Shot on Pinterest

They could also recycle the cups to make garland for their next party!

Frat boys and crafts also made me remember one of my favorite shows, Greek, and the mount Vesuvius episode.

OK, maybe that may be a bit challenging to recreate, but why make kegs out of pumpkins or watermelons.

Source: thedailymeal.com via vegansaurus on Pinterest

OK… Fraternities are about more than just drinking and I am sure they would enjoy painting as a craft as well.

Source: totalfratmove.com via Nikki on Pinterest

Oh wait, I guess that has to do with drinking as well. I tried, but really what crafts would the Fraternity boys be doing? Scrapbooking?

5. “ian somerhalder dog”

I can always oblige someone looking for Ian Somerhalder, because who would not want pictures of him all over their blog. He would make any blog more wonderful to look at in my humble opinion.