Thank Goodwill It’s Friday: Consignment is not my thing.

Tags

ADHD, Consignment sale, decluttering, dunce, humor, life, mistakes, Stay at Home Mom, technical difficulties

So, I was supposed to drop off my stuff for the consignment sale this morning, but then I realized that all of the clothes had to be hung.  I don’t know why I thought they would provide hangers…. I am just stupid when it comes to this stuff apparently.  I was without hangers and the safety pins needed to attach the clothes to the hangers.  So, I had the option of running out to buy cheap hangers and safety pins or just cutting my losses.  I went for cutting my losses, because I really did not know what I was doing.  I am thinking I do not have the patience for doing all the little things that you have to do to sell at these sales.  I also decided I over-think about stupid little things too much.  I spent at least 1 hour at the store trying to figure out how I was going to fasten on the price tag… It really should not be this hard.

Another problem I have is that I really am not sure what is the going rate for used kid’s clothes.  I thought I did a good job pricing them, but when I printed out the estimate of settlement… I was amazed at how little I was going to get.  All that pressing and hangering and pricing… I do just as well when I sell to the consignment stores like Once Upon a Child (which is a gently used kid stuff store in town).  I am not sure if I just did not price the items well (which I am guessing is the case), or if the percentage worked out to be the same.  If the percentage is the same then I should just do what I have done in the past and dropped it off and gone to get a coffee and then pick up my check.  I think I need more guidance before I try this consigning thing out in the future.  I am an consignment sale dunce.

 

So, I managed to not get rid of anything today.  I guess that I am doing so well with this decluttering thing, am I?

Even though I did not get rid of anything today… I did clean out my car.  I threw away quite a bit of junk there.  I also decided that I really do need to thin all my kitchen junk.  There are devices and other dish ware that has never been used and it is all crammed into my cupboards.  It sounds like a great project for next Friday… because it is time to get ready for The Hunger Games now.

 

How Do You Mess Up a Hamburger?

Tags

bad service, burgers, eating out, husband, life, mistakes, random, rant

My husband and I just had a conversation where we answered our own questions…

Me:  How do you mess up a hamburger?  [although I looked at him expectantly, I did not give him time to answer]  I guess you undercook it.

My Husband: Well, how do you mess up grilled onions?  You don’t grill them!  

I know you are thinking that this is not a very interesting conversation and are wondering why you are bothering reading this post.  Seriously, it is hard to mess up a hamburger, and yet the burger place we went to tonight managed to mess it up.

The burger place we went to is supposed to have good burgers… that is why it’s name is   is a cutsy version of the word cheeseburger repeated twice.  It has a cute 50’s theme and so we thought the kids would like it.  Upon arrival, we waited for about 5 minutes before they noticed us and came to seat us, and when the waitress came over a family with a crying toddler announced that they no one had come by to take their order and informed the lady that we could have their table.   When they walked by, they wished us better luck than they had. We should have walked out right then and hit the Jimmy John’s next door, but the kids were excited about the possibility of a shake and so we decided to chance it since the restaurant was not that busy and they seemed to have a decent amount of staff.

I Wish Life Imitated Art…

Tags

comedy, humor, iphone, mistakes, Portlandia, technical difficulties, Uh oh!, youtube

So last night, I sat down and enjoyed the latest Portlandia episode on on IFC.  Little did I know that within 24 hours my life would imitate one of the sketches I was about to enjoy.

The episode started off with a sketch where Carrie drops her iPhone and as it drops she has flashbacks remembering how awesome her life has been with the iPhone in it.  It is funny because it is true… if you have an iPhone you understand.

In the end, as you can see, her iPhone was fine and she breathes a sigh of relief.  I totally understood that sigh of relief, because I have dropped my old iPhone 3 countless times. Each time I felt that second or two of dread as I watched it fall and every time I picked it up and relaxed when I found the screen was unscathed.

Sleep is my Enemy

Tags

aging, daylight savings time, family, insomnia, late night, mistakes, sleep depravation, sleep problems, tired

I miss being young.  When I was in college, I remember pulling many an all-nighter.  Sometimes, I would pull more than one in one week. Actually, I was diagnosed with severe insomnia back then, so I guess I should not be missing those days, but  my body and mind bounced back pretty easily.  I was no worse for wear.  At 36, that is not the case… in fact, they call it severe sleep depravation now (or at least that is what my doctor called it last year when I was having a hard time with getting to sleep).

This is pretty much what happened (except I did not get the little nap at 1:35)...

Drawing by James Kim found on Campus Grotto

My Husband and the Mysterious Liquid

Tags

Bear Grylls, dog, family, humor, mess, mistakes, pee, Uh oh!

Saturdays are my day to sleep in.  My husband always wakes up with the kids and I catch up on the sleep that I missed out on during the week.  I love Saturdays!

This morning I woke up and my husband told me that he felt he felt he should disclose something.  I was a bit hesitant to hear what he wanted to “disclose.”  Was he looking at nude pictures on internet?  Could he have made a grave mistake in judgement while on his business trip?  Oh, I hate it when people tell me they feel the need to give a “full disclosure.”

So he proceeds to tell me that he found a puddle in the middle of the kitchen floor… at which time I look up and our big wet spot on the ceiling.  I have a sinking feeling in my stomach now.  Is he going to tell me that our new washer is now leaking?  No, he goes on to tell me that the thought had crossed his mind too, but that was not it because he checked the spot and it was not wet.

His next thought maybe the boys spilled something on the floor. My kids have been trying to be more independent.  Thus, once or twice a week  while they are trying to be independent pouring their own juice, we find a puddle of juice on the floor.  You see, they want to be independent with pouring the juice, but if they spill… they don’t feel the need to independently clean it up.  My husband thought this was the case, so before giving my son a riot act he thinks he needs to know that is indeed what it is.

So, he tells me he decides to stick his finger in the puddle and taste it to find out what was spilled.  Unfortunately, it was not spilled juice.

It was dog pee.

Me: How do you know what dog pee tastes like?

My Husband: It tastes like it smells.  It is incredibly disgusting.

Me: Was it yellow when you cleaned it up?

My Husband: [exasperated sigh] Yes, it was yellow.  It was definitely dog pee.

Me: And you put it in your mouth?

My Husband:  Yep, and right after I was like…[pretending to wash out mouth under the sink in our kitchen]

Me:  Well, at least you can supposedly drink pee, if you need to.  Of course, usually that refers to your own pee and not a dog’s pee.

He endorses drinking your own piss, right?

Source

My Husband:  [slightly annoyed look] Still, it was disgusting.

So, the moral of the story… Don’t taste things before cleaning them up. Think about it what if I tasted the brown stuff that my daughter had gotten into at the book festival. It could have been chocolate, but it was not. This post is a public service announcement of sorts… learn from it.

At first, my husband did not want me to share this lovely story with you guys. Then he posted a status about this event and I gave him a hard time and he told me I could write a post about it.  He is such a great guy!  I don’t know how many people would not mind their wives sharing a story about them tasting dog pee.

Feel free to give him a lot of love in the comments!

Cooking Experiment #7: Roasted Citrus Chicken

Tags

capers, chicken, experiments in the kitchen, food, frozen foods, humor, mistakes, pork, recipes, Sandra Lee

It has been awhile since I have documented the yumminess that has come out of my kitchen… probably since the only things that have come out of my kitchen have been frozen chicken fingers, Stouffer’s Meatloaf, and Uncrustables.  I have fallen off the the cooking band-wagon lately and have succumb to my old ways of grabbing fast food and ordering carry out.  I will say that chicken fingers can be done in a even more kid friendly way… Why not let the fingers soak in a ketchup hot tub?

That is the reason it has taken me 2 weeks to cook 3 dishes from Sandra Lee Semi-Homemade (another free trial link). Tonight I was able to finish my last recipe, kind of my welcome back to the kitchen recipe.

Here is the run down…

The first recipe I tried was Fried Chicken Po’boys with buttermilk dressing.  Frankly, this consisted of making a sandwich with frozen chicken and pouring Hidden Valley Ranch dressing on it, since I forgot to add the dill to the buttermilk dressing.  Maybe it would have been unbelievable with the dill in the dressing, I don’t know.  The way I made it…it was unsensational.

Then I tried her Grilled Pork Chops with Chilled Bean and Tomato Salad, and thought it was pretty good.  It may have been even better if I had actually planned ahead enough to chill the Bean and Tomato Salad.  I am 2 for 2 in not following directions.  My husband is not a big fan of pork chops, so we also altered the recipe and used pork loin.  This was a great substitution.  The pork chops (pork loin) was incredibly easy to make, since all you had to do was sprinkle with salt, pepper, and some italian seasoning.

Finally, tonight’s dish and the feature of this post…. Roasted Citrus Chicken.  I have to say the picture in the magazine made this the dish I wanted to try the most.  

Of course, my version did not look that appetizing…so I thought I would just show you some of the process (and I forgot to take the picture of the finished plate).  The first step was to sprinkle salt, pepper, and paprika onto the chicken and then brown in a frying pan.  I knew I was in trouble when I realized that the label had rubbed off the tops of several reddish spices.  I just decided to take a guess.

I figured it looked close enough.  I will say that I am not a fan of raw chicken.  It kind of grosses me out.  I guess that is why I felt the need to take a picture of the chicken cooking.

While I cooked the chicken, I cut up one lemon and one orange.

After around 5 minutes (when the skin was browned), I transferred the chicken into a baking dish and squeezed the lemons and oranges onto the chicken.  I also added the bay leaves.  Then I cooked it for 45 minutes at 350.  This allowed me time to relax and watch Johnny Test with my son (who had just awoken from a late nap).

If I was paying attention, I would have added the capers in about 10 minutes before it was finished cooking.  I wasn’t paying attention (Johnny Test was really good).  So, my version was caperless.  It turned out to be really good, despite my amazing attempts to foil the recipe (good to know if you are not a fan of capers).  Sandra Lee also recommends Parsley Cous Cous as a side, but we just did steamed green beans, which are a favorite of the kids.  This was by far my favorite of the recipes I tried.  I will definitely do this recipe again and I may even add the capers the  next time.

Next up… I am going to take on Paula Deen.  This should be interesting.

Note:  I think I changed out all the times I wrote “Sandra Dee” instead of “Sandra Lee.”  If I missed one… Oh well.  She will always be Sandra Dee to me.

 

 

We go to a wedding and leave an anonymous gift.

Tags

decorating, family, fun, humor, kids, marriage, mason jar, mistakes, mommydom, weddings

It was a very exciting weekend for our family.  My husband’s cousin Amy got married. She was beautiful bride and the men looked handsome in their grey tuxedos.

The Happy Couple! Congratulations Amy and Andrew!

What a beautiful girl and view!

The setting was picture perfect too!  It was at a picturesque inn called the House Mountain Inn in Lexington, VA.  Check out the view from the deck (and how adorable my girl was that day).

They got married outside by a little man-made pond under a wooden trellis.  You can kind of see the set up behind my daughter being silly in this picture.  

They decorated with flowers that were inspired from the inn.  I loved the mason jar vases that lined the seats during the ceremony.   Although my son felt the chairs needed a bit more decoration…

The chairs needed just a little something to be more festive.

(Yep, those are post-it tabs… He said he was bored and they offered 5 minutes of entertainment)

The centerpieces were even more personalized.  The wood “chargers” were cut from a tree that came from my husband’s grandparents’ property.  We even got one of the chargers to keep.  

The best part of the wedding according to my kids… The table of sweets!  

What a fabulous idea!  It was a hit with all the kids (and adults).

We were even part of the festivities.  The Girl was a greeter and handed out programs and reminded people to sign their guest book.  My husband was the videographer.  My son was part of the entertainment…

My son entertained (and kicked many heels and legs) with his breakdancing skills.

and helped relieve them of their worries of having leftover candy.

Don't want them to have any leftovers, do we?

We also thought it would be great to leave an anonymous gift, so they could play that fun game of “wonder who this is from?”  Well, actually we did not intentionally mean to leave the gift anonymously.   On the way home, I found the card in the center console of the car… OOPS.

The card that tried to get away.

We will take credit for any  and all anonymous gifts, but really we just gave you the one bag with the cozy blanket in it.

May your future be as sweet and my son’s sweet tooth!  Thanks for including us in your special day!

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Flies and my mission to stop them

Tags

flies, garage, humor, marriage, mistakes, pests, Uh oh!, unsung superheroes

I used to see the good in most of God’s creatures.  Don’t kill that spider he is is part of a larger plan… he is a part of a needed food chain essential to the balance of life (except when you are a poisonous spider-in that case it needs to go).  I would share my world the the best way I could.  Sometimes, I may ask it to live in my yard rather than my house, but I am willing to make some compromises if they are too.

I don’t like mice, but I would rather humanely trap them free in a field where they can frolic and play (or get eaten by a hawk, since that is what hawks do).  I just don’t want you living in my space, pooping on my garage floor, eating through all the stuff we don’t care about in the garage.

I love the lizards around our house.  I think this has to do with my guilt over my pet gecko that did not survive a car accident with me in college.  It broke it’s nose and it was never the same.  I don’t mind the type we have around our house at all, mainly because they don’t visit us in our house.  In fact, when Termanix came and set glue traps down (outside the house) to catch the mice and instead caught 5 lizards… Termanix was promptly asked never to come back.  Glue traps must be an awful way to go. I also can attest that olive oil  or Goo-Gone will will not release a lizard from a glue trap if by chance you get in the lizard-freeing mood one day.  I get teary-eyed just thinking about those poor lizards.

Then there are flies… I really hate flies.  They rank up there with flies, ticks, and lice in my book.  This summer, I swear the flies were worse than in years past.  I attribute it to hot weather, an HOA that makes you put your trash-can in the back of the house, and kids in and out of the back door constantly.  At any rate, I have developed a sort of new-found happiness for killing them.  There is a little part of me that will try to tell myself to let the creature live, but it never beats the annoyed part of me that is trying to watch TV with the buzz of a fly skittering around the lamp.  At first I was happy with the fly-swatter and dreams of a fly killer that could kill like bug-zapper, but could be used to directly hunt and taze the little buggers.  I discovered EcoSmart’s Flying insect killer and have enjoyed watching them slowly loose flight and flop around until the darkness gets them.  I also hope that someday this house will be feared by the flies and thus I will not need to kill them anymore.  So far, the flies are not scared and although I have controlled the problem with botanical oils and fly traps around the garbage cans…one lazy night of not  wanting to take the trash out to the trashcan in the rain has brought on a fly attack like no other.

Here is the way it went down…

Saturday I went into the garage for a sleeping bag for my daughter’s first slumber party and was disgusted to find a swarm of flies near the side door.  I sprayed them down with my organic bug killer (which smells of wonderful botanical oils while promptly killing the disgusting little pests, then I did what I usually do… complain to my husband.

Earlier this year, we returned from a trip to Florida to a very smelly garage.  My fear was that another mouse had come in and died and a fly breeding facility had been set up in its carcass.  Of course, this time their was no smell so my husband did not think this was the case.  I did notice a garbage bag by the door and suggested that it may be the culprit and asked him to remember to grab it when he put the trash out.

On Sunday, the flies had multiplied again and so I was now positive that there was something not right in the garage, yet could not pinpoint where they were coming from.  When I went to run errands, my husband went to investigate.   He said he picked up the bag, I had noted and just happened to notice another bag hidden in a corner.  When he picked it up in hummed and he was attacked by a swarm of flies escaping from the 1-2 inch opening at the top.  Culprit found.  During the week of rain last week, he is assuming we slipped the bag in the garage to wait out the rain and forgot about it.

The conversation went downhill from there into the creation of a new kind of super hero…

My husband: When I picked up the bag the flies swarmed me!  I felt like I was being attacked.

Me:  Swarmed you!  I would have liked to see that.

My husband:  I wish you had been there too. It felt like there were so many and all that buzzing.  You could have protected me.

Me: How would I have protected you.  You mean when I spray my organic fly killer?  It doesn’t work well on when being attacked.  I have tried before, the flies are too fast.  I end up spraying myself more than the flies.  One time there was a fly above the dog and I thought I would help and ended up getting the dog more than the fly.  Thank god this stuff is not harmful to people or animals, because the way I have been spraying those buggers…Our dog and I would be in the grave by now.

My husband:  If you had been the one who was swarmed I would protect you, I don’t think it is too much to ask.  I would be your great defender!  I would say something like “You are not match for me fly vermin.”

Me:  Seriously, the vision in my head is pretty hilarious.  You are like a new kind of organic fly killing hero.

My husband:  That is right.  I would do it.  I would definitely defend you and win.

Me: I am sure you would and I too would have had your back, though personally I am glad they swarmed you.

 

Folks- that is LOVE.  

After ten years of marriage, love is protecting your chosen one from swarms of flies and other vermin who mess with them (or at least saying you would if it should happen again).

Why People Like Me Should not Drive Cars with Expired Stickers

Tags

car, community, craziness, driving, embarrassing, family, humor, mistakes, school, technical difficulties, Uh oh!

It all started as a fairly normal day, but then I got into my car and noticed that my state inspection sticker was expired. A quick check of the calendar on my phone confirmed it, It was the first of the month. Unfortunately, I had a full schedule so the inspection would have to wait until the weekend. This is not good. I freak out over stuff like this. I can’t help it! I freak out every time I see a cop, which leads me to making rash decisions and role-playing a game of cops and robbers in my head each time I get in the car. If I see a cop at the corner ahead, I might suddenly have to get something at that bait and tackle shop (even though I don’t fish), drive into a nearby driveway and pretend to have the wrong address, or take a scenic drive around some random neighborhood (which is super fun when I end up lost).  I feel like a criminal running from the law. Unfortunately, I had no time to get the inspection done until the weekend so decided that I just had to stay calm and not flip out for two short days. That is doable, right? I am not a speeder and I don’t have to drive very far. In total, I probably only have to drive a total of 20 miles.

The furthest I have to drive is my kids’ school for Kindergarten Registration and the beginning of the school year “Open House”.  This is where we find out who our kids’ teachers will be, drop off supplies, and fill out a mountain of paperwork.  It is a busy afternoon since most of the families will come to find out who their children have for a teacher.

As we drove into the school, I noticed my husband decided to drive into the school’s parking lot, rather than the overflow lot. I looked and thought I saw a parking space or two and followed him. Unfortunately, no parking spaces were found and so I decided to head toward the overflow lot. The turn into the lot from the main entrance to the school was a bit tighter than I thought it was and so I miscalculated the turn. I ended up hitting the curb and as soon as I feel the curb scrape the bottom of my car, I stopped. I figured I could just back up and retry the turn, but I was wrong.

As I backed up, I realized that my front tires were not on the ground and just spun (which is not ideal when you have a front wheel drive car. I noticed my husband walking up with a disgruntled look on his face… the one he always wears when I get myself into these types of situations (which is far too often). He said he would help me by pushing the car as I backed up… that did not work.

Since we are blocking the overflow parking lot, several other eager Kindergarten parents joined him to try to push the car, but their effort was just as fruitless. The front wheels needed something to grab onto.  That is when we started grabbing anything to try to build up the area under the front wheels.  I contributed a boogie board from the back of my car.  Unfortunately, even with the boogie board the car remained stuck.

Luckily, I was in the optimal location for people to notice me and there was a great view of my driving expertise from the entrance of the school.  More people came to help and so it was only a matter of time before we drew the attention of the county sherriff’s office, which ended up being the Dare officer at the school.  The Dare officer is a full fledged officer who can make arrests and can write a ticket for an expired inspection sticker.  I saw him coming over and so I start to freak out.

I smiled as the sheriff walked up and started talking to him (making sure that my body was between him and the expired sticker on the front windshield)… Here are some of my amazing attempts to deflection.

“Oh, are you related to __?”

“Yes, I taught with her.”

“I loved my officer at the school I taught at, do you know ___?”

“I really tried my hardest to hype up the program with my kids…You know, say no to drugs and all of that.”

“I really have no luck in school parking lots, see that scratch up there…That one i did at ____ elementary school.”

“Can you help?  Sure, they need help in the back of the car.  The front of the car is great no help needed up there.”

I think I sounded like a crazy person.

The party began to break up since it was evident the car was stuck.  Luckily a wonderful man, or as I like to think a towing superhero, stopped and asked if we thought it would help if he tried to tow the car with his truck.  We were up for anything.  The only other idea we had was to use the jack to lift the car off of the curb and then push it backwards until it fell off of the jack (hopefully clearing the curb).  Thinking about that plan now, I wonder why we thought it was a viable option. 

Thankfully, the tow gave my car just the nudge it needed and it was free from the curb.  My husband safely parked it and we were finally able to go inside the school, just in time for the orientation to end.  Thankfully, we have an older child and so I think we should be okay…as long as there were no new rules or procedures.

Thankfully, I had no roadside mishaps today and hopefully my car will be state inspected by noon tomorrow!

A Very Sweet Day!

Tags

candy-making, Cooking, friends, home-made, mistakes, salted caramels, sweet

Some days it is OK to not to worry about what you did not get done.
I had a looong to do list and I got to 3 4 things on it.  I could be stressed about it, but I am not. Why? Some days are meant to be bad days and so if you can turn them around, then you should not spend too much time worrying about the stuff that could have been done if the day had been better.

Yesterday could have been a bad day.

I woke up 15 minutes before I was supposed to be at a friend’s house (which happens to be about 30 minutes away).  The kids were not dressed.  My husband was in bed since he stayed home because he was not feeling good, my son was grouchy, and my hair looked like Medusa’s after partying a little too hard!

I was definitely going to be late.

Well, my friends came to the rescue.  My friend did not mind that I was running late (probably because she expected me to).  We had a wonderful time talking and letting the kids play.  She even made The Girl a sandwich before we left because she said she was hungry.  The Girl was so happy and I was so grateful because we had a few errands to run.

Later in the afternoon, my friend Liz (check out her blog Diary of a *reformed* fat ass) came over.  She was going to help me make “salted caramels“.  I have been dying to try the recipe since I saw the post.

She told me that she was going to just be there for support, but I would make it myself.  I gave her my best “Are you kidding?” look, but she was firm… She wanted me to learn how to do it.  She scared me with her talk of how temperamental using sugar can be.  Because of that I was extra careful and watched over the sugar boiling like a hawk.  Seriously, I never left its side.

I think we did everything right. We lined the dish with parchment paper and I set it in the fridge to cool until firm.

I think I hit a little trouble about here.  Firm is so relative.  What I consider firm to be… never quite happened for my lovely caramel.  It stayed kinda firm.  I took a little taste of the semi-firm caramel and it was delicious. I was excited because I could not believe I managed to make it and it tasted good.

So since it was way longer than the “several hours” the recipe called for I took it out of the fridge for the next step… Getting it to “room temperature and “prying it off” the parchment.  Funny thing…  I did not need to pry it off since once it got to room temperature it became a liquid.

Hmm.. guess I made salted caramel sauce.  I have checked out a few web sources to find out what went wrong.  I could have used a double boiler someone said that you should never try to do sugar without it.  I could not have heated it long enough and so I did not evaporate enough liquid.  I could have not heated it hot enough (although I am not thinking that was it since we used a candy thermometer).  At any rate, I think I will try it again.  It was invaluable to have Liz there with me because if she had not been there I might not have the yummy sauce, I would have crystallized sugar, 3rd degree burns, and no yummy caramel anything.

I would have missed the yummy sauce… It is great on ice cream!

Some days may not be perfect, but they can be so sweet!