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Tonight I had to get my kids fundraising packets prepared to send in to the school.  Sounds simple enough, but since I procrastinated this involved calling our parents and begging them to buy enough wrapping paper to get both of the kids to the Mega party, then getting the paper work together.  There is only so much that we can buy ourselves.  I will also take this opportunity to gripe about the fact that they discontinued their double sided wrapping paper… so in protest I did not buy any of their wrapping paper.  Instead, we will be getting some magazines (because we need more clutter).  You may wonder why I bother to participate and it is because my kids like to party.

Two years ago, my kids’ school switched to earning a party rather than the cheap prizes that they used to entice kids get kids to pester their parents to sell stuff to help the school raise money.  My daughter went last year and wanted to go again… since it is my son’s first year at the school, he wants to go based on how much fun my daughter had last year.  There are other special things the kids can earn as well… They can be a DJ at the party, get money in a money booth (you know the booth that you get in for a minute and grab as much money as you can), and a limo ride.  My son also wanted to go on a limo ride, but since he is not the one who makes the phone calls at 9 pm the night before the money is due… he will not get the limo.  Actually, they did better than I thought.  They sold enough to get VIP status at the Mega Party and a rubber frog.  The rubber frog is a very exciting thing, and because of my procrastination it will be their first frog.  Oh, to be excited about little keychain frogs… I miss being young.

Well, I made the mistake of talking about the fundraiser with my husband (AKA Self-proclaimed funny MotherF***er) and this conversation unfortunately occurred.

Me: Our parents are going to be getting a lot of wrapping paper.

My Husband: How much are they getting?

Me: 8 rolls each!

My Husband: [raises eyebrows slightly] You know, they should have the kids make things.

Me: What do you mean?

My Husband: They should have the kids spend 45 minutes a day making something like soccer balls. They would be learning things like sewing, so it would be educational.

Me:  Like a factory?

My Husband: Yes, I mean the first balls would be pretty bad, but by the time the kids are in 2nd or 3rd grade. They would be pretty good at it.

Me: I don’t think that would fly with the school board.

My Husband: I saw a video on the internet once of a old [exaggerated] lady who worked in a dildo factory.  She would dip the dildo in red paint and then put it down to dry and get another one and dip it in…and so on.  That does not seem that hard.

Me: [with my best disgusted face] So you are saying that they should make dildos?

My Husband: Maybe or Soccer balls.  They could rotate contracts.

Me:  OK, maybe you should pitch it to the PTA.

My Husband: Maybe I will.

Me.  Please let me know when you plan to do that so I can tell everyone.  I think that would be really entertaining to watch.

Additional note for readers who do not personally know my husband:  My husband is very sarcastic.  I am sure he was just joking and would never want kids to work in factories and especially a factory that makes dildos.