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No, really he can’t but for a split second I thought he could.

I did not have time to watch the Miss. Universe Pageant last night.  My husband was out of town and I was too busy barricading the kids and I in and posting signs to remind myself to turn off the alarms (a necessary precaution since the police showed up last year after I ran my daughter to the bus stop without remembering to turn off the alarm- too embarrassing to repeat again).

The other, and I may admit the more important, reason to wait and watch it at a later time was that I was by myself.   Miss. Universe is something I have to watch with someone else.   I mean, how much fun can you have making bad jokes about the bad camera work and typical silliness of the pageant world without someone there to laugh (or pretend to laugh).   There were some perfect moments for off-color jokes during the pageant too, and my jokes would have fallen like a tree in the forest (is a joke really funny if no one hears it?)

So I waited until tonight to watch it…and the promptly forgot that I was watching it on DVR (even though I forwarded through the silly fillers).  I stayed away from the internet and news media so that I would not hear who won or hear anything about it.  I knew my husband would not go back to his hotel room and watch it when he had all of DC as his playground.

We started by watching all the girls introduce themselves.  There was a camera slip up and one of the cameras focused on another girl during one girl’s introduction.  It was a pretty bad slip up and honestly I have no idea who the girl was that missed her camera time.  Oh, well it was not any of the women in the top 16.  My favorite part of the introductions of the top 16 are their interests.  Most noted reading, Ukraine stunned me with an interest in poems (which I honestly was surprised about).  My favorite interests…Window shopping, cosmetics, and Holistic Health.  How come you never see contestants note an interests in sleeping and LARPing (Live Action Role Playing) like I have seen on people’s interests on Facebook.   Honestly, if I saw someone note LARPing, sleeping, or something equally as amazing… I would root for them.  I also noted that some countries were not present this year… What happened to Norway and Zambia?  Apparently, it is a big secret and all that is said is that they withdrew. Very mysterious.

Now the bathing suits… They all really looked the same.  Nothing new there.

There were gowns, I liked and some I didn’t.  One of my favorites was one that I think was inspired by computers… 

Around this time, I made the comment that I think Costa Rica would be hard to beat (she wasn’t), my husband said… “I don’t know I think Angola wins.”  I looked at him astonished.  Really, why would you think that?  He said he did not know why…just that he had a good feeling about it.  I still thought it was going to be Philippines or maybe China.

When Angola won, I was amazed he had predicted the winner…then looked at his smug face and said “Wait! You must have heard who won!  I forgot that it was on DVR!”  He admitted that he was not psychic and had heard about who won on NPR.  I am a little bummed… I was thinking this quality would be great for buying lottery tickets.

As an aside… I know the paparazzi will be sad that Columbia did not take home the crown. She is known for wearing short skirts and no undies (as NBC Chicago tells us)… Just think of all the great pictures they could have gotten.  Life is just not fair sometimes.

I also want to thank Matt Clark (or should I say “The Monkey”), for his spirited defense  for why Miss Philippines should have won and for sharing that she has a boyfriend (because I was really concerned about this). I am glad I was not the only one who thought she had a chance to win.

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