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Every year we take our kids out to celebrate the new school year.  They pick the restaurant and we take them, even if we would rather not eat there.   Usually, this restaurant is the normal kids fare like Chuck E Cheese or Cici’s Pizza.  This year the kids wanted to get sushi!  We have never been so excited to go to the Back to School Dinner.  We chose a Hibachi Restaurant so we could get some other food too.

If you have never been to a Hibachi place before, you are not guaranteed to sit at a table by yourself (unless you are a party of 8 or more). There are only 4 of us so we sat with another group of 4, two couples on a night out (supposedly away from kids).  I am sure they were stoked to get two very loud and rambunctious table mates, but I guess it is just another example of how the universe likes to mess with you.  The two couples were really nice.  One of the couples would be considered heavyset and the other couple even more so.

The chef we got was not the most entertaining of the bunch.  He was not into tricks, and did not throw an egg in his hat or make a volcano (much to my disappointment), but he did try to joke around with us. It was evident early on that the portions he got from the back were rather large.   He had almost another serving of fried rice (first to be passed out) left over.  He looked around the table and plopped the extra rice onto the plate of the heaviest person at the table and made a joke that he could handle a bit more.  I don’t know why, but it bothered me a bit.  What is he trying to say?  Is he implying that the guy eats more because he was overweight?

Then he started working on the filet mignon.  He realized he had extra steak as well, so he distributed it to the same guy and his wife/girlfriend and gave some to my husband (who did not order steak).  After distributing each of the items, he gave the extras to the same couple, and expanded to giving extra servings to everyone (including my daughter).  Well not quite everyone, for some reason he never passed me any extras.  All the food was delicious and it was nice to have some extra food (from my daughter’s plate) to take home in a doggy bag.  The kids were happy and my husband was unusually giddy.

Bare with me as I get a bit off the topic…

Those of you that have had the pleasure of meeting my husband know that my husband gets giddy when he thinks he has been particularly funny or when he discovers something particularly cool, such as this soccer jersey(inspired by The Black Swan).

I am embarrassed that I could not figure out what the scissors on the jerseys were for…I was sorry I asked. By the way, I have been informed that I will get so sick of seeing it on him, since he is going to “wear the sh** out of it”.  Such simple things in life can make my husband so happy.

Now let’s get back to why my husband was giddy after dinner…

He had sent me some texts during dinner and was amused by his comments. Unfortunately for him, I am not very good at keeping up with my phone so I did not get the texts until I was in the car (trying to check in with Foursquare before we got too far away from the restaurant). This is how it all went down (or downhill so to speak)…

The Husband: Did you see my texts?

Me: No, I am trying to check in. Don’t leave yet, I forgot to check in.

The Husband: Oh, I got to call my mom she called earlier today. [pulling out of the parking spot]

Me: Hold on… Don’t leave! I am having a hard time checking in. (It takes me forever to check in to Foursquare since I often push the wrong place. This time I was checking in to The Dollar Tree instead of the restaurant I went to.)

[some time passes as we talk to his mom and dad]

The Husband: Did you read them yet?

Me: I’ll read them now.

Me: Yeah, I noticed that he was giving them a hard time. Did you notice that he gave them extra helpings on everything.  I was thinking that is kind of rude, like he was implying that they ate more than the rest of us.

The Husband: He gave me a lot of extras too.

Me:  I know.  I was the only one who did not get any extras.  Wait a minute… What does that say about what he thought of me?  Maybe he was thinking “Man, that one needs to lose weight… no extras for her.”

The Husband: No really, Tara.  Did you see the size of some of the people in there?

Me: I did.  The couple was a bit overweight.

The Husband: No, there was another person that was even bigger that was sitting behind them.  I was just waiting for one of them to throw salt over their shoulder and [pretends to stomp].  Let’s get ready to rumble! Of course, course the conversation at our end of the table did not help anything.  You people were talking about how The Girl could eat all that food and not get fat!  I was like “Stop, this could only end awkwardly!”

Me:  Oh, yeah! (laughing) That was a bit awkward.

The Husband:  No, but seriously did you notice how much sauce they used.

Me: I did not notice that, but I did notice that he was giving them a hard time about the sauce.  I thought it was weird that he would not just give them some more.

The Husband: No, you don’t understand!  They poured three if not four bowls of sauce on their food.  He ran out of sauce!  He could not give them anymore…BECAUSE HE RAN OUT OF SAUCE!  I have never seen anyone use that much sauce before! It was the consistency of gumbo…it just made me want to vomit (pretending to vomit)”

Me: Well, still he should’ve given them the sauce.  I mean if they like the sauce then they should be able to have more.

The Husband:  I wish you had seen it!  It was disgusting (pretending to gag).  I mean they could not have tasted the food anymore, it was so drenched in sauce.  It would have been like eating just sauce.  Yuck!

Me: I wish I had seen it.  I guess I was too busy wondering why everyone else was getting extra servings.

Seriously, it is really bugging me…. Why would he not give me any extras?  Should I be happy that he assumed I would not want extra, implying that I look like I watch my figure (more so than the others at my table)?  Or…are his actions implying that I don’t “need” the extra food?  As for the sauce… well, I will just let my husband perseverate about that.

**I do apologize for anyone offended by this post. My husband did not mean for our conversation to be aired for public viewing…I knew who I was marrying, thus I know I cannot change him (and I am not sure I would want to).