Poopy heads and Politics

Tags

democrats, dinner conversations, family, Fart, kids, National Ask a Stupid Question Day, parenting, politics, republicans

I decided that dinner time would be a great time to include the kids in Ask a Stupid Question Day activities. The only rule was that noone could not say the question is stupid.

My daughter started off with asking my husband what his name was.

My son came up with some questions that only a 5-year-old can…

Question 1:  What is the stupidest head in the world?

Question 2: What’s a bootyface?  He answered it himself (which is technically one of my criteria for stupid questions) by referring to some new cartoon, Secret Mountain Fort Awesome, and the “booty face” in it.

image via dragoart.com

I cannot remember the question, but I answered “Obama,”  because I know my daughter loves Obama and thought it would be fun to see her get irritated at me.  She did…giving me the stink eye.

So I asked her my stupid question… “Which is stupider the Democrats or the Republicans?”  I know this is not the best question to ask a 7-year-old, but my daughter is obsessed with presidents and so she does have some knowledge.

She answered “hmm, I think Republicans.”  Since I was raised by a republican from Indiana and someone who never votes… I was pretty much raised Republican.  What this means is that I have panic attacks when I tried to vote for a Democrat (unless Jerry Brown runs for president- because I think I can overcome my issues to vote for him).  This is where the conversation went from stupid questions to politics (and the kids checked out)…

Me [jokingly]:  Oh my, I am raising a liberal.

My Husband: Oh, I hope not.

Me [shocked] Really, you don’t want her to be a liberal.

Then he went into how he does not like it when anyone identifies with a specific party or ideology, and well I don’t remember the specifics except that he thinks it makes people contradict themselves and how he feels differently about different issues and thus bases his opinions on the issues rather than a label.

Me:  Well, you know that I consider myself a liberalatarian.  I am pretty liberal when it comes to social issues, but tend to be conservative fiscally.

My husband [raising one eyebrow]:  You are only talking only talking in terms of the government, right?

Me:  Yes, I was about to add that.  I am not really that conservative when it comes to our personal finances.  Point taken.

Yes, my husband had the last laugh.  Who would have thought my fun family discussion idea would have generated such a discussion, especially because usually my husband and I shy away from any political discussions (at least the serious ones anyway).

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My favorite feature of my blog…

Tags

bathing suit, blogging, Chewbacca, dashboard, humor, internet, Rachel Ray, searches, spongebob, stupid, tampon, Thank You, yahoo questions

My favorite feature of my blog is the list of search terms that people used to find me. It gives me a list for each day and I find them to be an endless source of entertainment. In fact, I find them to be way funnier than most people do. I know this because I share them with my husband and he doesn’t usually laugh… or maybe he is laughing on the inside (at least that is what I tell myself). Anyway, I figure I would share them with you guys and hopefully you will laugh with me.
Today’s list is what made me want to share.

Cooking Experiment #7: Roasted Citrus Chicken

Tags

capers, chicken, experiments in the kitchen, food, frozen foods, humor, mistakes, pork, recipes, Sandra Lee

It has been awhile since I have documented the yumminess that has come out of my kitchen… probably since the only things that have come out of my kitchen have been frozen chicken fingers, Stouffer’s Meatloaf, and Uncrustables.  I have fallen off the the cooking band-wagon lately and have succumb to my old ways of grabbing fast food and ordering carry out.  I will say that chicken fingers can be done in a even more kid friendly way… Why not let the fingers soak in a ketchup hot tub?

That is the reason it has taken me 2 weeks to cook 3 dishes from Sandra Lee Semi-Homemade (another free trial link). Tonight I was able to finish my last recipe, kind of my welcome back to the kitchen recipe.

Here is the run down…

The first recipe I tried was Fried Chicken Po’boys with buttermilk dressing.  Frankly, this consisted of making a sandwich with frozen chicken and pouring Hidden Valley Ranch dressing on it, since I forgot to add the dill to the buttermilk dressing.  Maybe it would have been unbelievable with the dill in the dressing, I don’t know.  The way I made it…it was unsensational.

Then I tried her Grilled Pork Chops with Chilled Bean and Tomato Salad, and thought it was pretty good.  It may have been even better if I had actually planned ahead enough to chill the Bean and Tomato Salad.  I am 2 for 2 in not following directions.  My husband is not a big fan of pork chops, so we also altered the recipe and used pork loin.  This was a great substitution.  The pork chops (pork loin) was incredibly easy to make, since all you had to do was sprinkle with salt, pepper, and some italian seasoning.

Finally, tonight’s dish and the feature of this post…. Roasted Citrus Chicken.  I have to say the picture in the magazine made this the dish I wanted to try the most.  

Of course, my version did not look that appetizing…so I thought I would just show you some of the process (and I forgot to take the picture of the finished plate).  The first step was to sprinkle salt, pepper, and paprika onto the chicken and then brown in a frying pan.  I knew I was in trouble when I realized that the label had rubbed off the tops of several reddish spices.  I just decided to take a guess.

I figured it looked close enough.  I will say that I am not a fan of raw chicken.  It kind of grosses me out.  I guess that is why I felt the need to take a picture of the chicken cooking.

While I cooked the chicken, I cut up one lemon and one orange.

After around 5 minutes (when the skin was browned), I transferred the chicken into a baking dish and squeezed the lemons and oranges onto the chicken.  I also added the bay leaves.  Then I cooked it for 45 minutes at 350.  This allowed me time to relax and watch Johnny Test with my son (who had just awoken from a late nap).

If I was paying attention, I would have added the capers in about 10 minutes before it was finished cooking.  I wasn’t paying attention (Johnny Test was really good).  So, my version was caperless.  It turned out to be really good, despite my amazing attempts to foil the recipe (good to know if you are not a fan of capers).  Sandra Lee also recommends Parsley Cous Cous as a side, but we just did steamed green beans, which are a favorite of the kids.  This was by far my favorite of the recipes I tried.  I will definitely do this recipe again and I may even add the capers the  next time.

Next up… I am going to take on Paula Deen.  This should be interesting.

Note:  I think I changed out all the times I wrote “Sandra Dee” instead of “Sandra Lee.”  If I missed one… Oh well.  She will always be Sandra Dee to me.

 

 

Rock, Paper, Scissors… Dynamite and Light Sabers.

Tags

family, game, humor, kids, Kids activities, mommydom, paper, parenting, Rock, scissors

In our house, “Rock, Paper, Scissors” is a bit more complicated.  It started out with just the main three, but my kids added a few more options making it that much harder to win a game when playing with them.

Do you know what blows up the rock, paper, or scissors?  Dynamite, of course.  If someone puts out their pinky then watch out… no matter what you have… you are gone. BOOM!

Today, another hand symbol was added to the ranks of the game.  The Boy got tired of losing with the 3 boring symbols and got a bit confused when trying to get out his pinky.  Thus, the Light Saber was born.  The Light Saber will slash through your rocks, split your scissors, and obliterate your paper. What happens if you throw out a light saber too?  Well, you get to have a light saber fight.  Fun for all!

The real question is who wins the battle between the light saber and the dynamite.  I guess it will depend on who throws out what.  My guess is whatever the kids threw out will be the winner.  Personally, I think that the light saber has nothing on the dynamite… but in the game this morning the light saber was able to cut the wick off of the dynamite and win.

Oh Poo, Guess it is Time to Leave

Tags

authors, book, book signing, community, family, kids, Kids activities, mommydom, National book festival, road trip, Sarah Vowell, Washington DC

My family and I went to the National Book Festival in Washington D.C. today.  It was our first time and so we did not know what to expect.

It exceeded my expectations!  There were so many tents and lots of things to check out.  We got there a little later than we hoped and so it was already pretty busy when we got there.  We headed to get lunch almost immediately since The Boy was hungry and wanted a drink.  After $11 hamburger combos, we finally decided to check out some of the tents.

We headed to the PBS tent first.  We grabbed some activity sheets and tattoos and then ended up leaving.  The boy was in a foul mood.  I think my 5-year-old was able to crush the perkiness of one of the workers…

Those Pesky Songs that Get Stuck in my Head.

Tags

Aggie, all-american boys, behavior, best little Whorehouse, Dolly Parton, humor, road trip, Uh oh!

When I was around 10 years old,  I saw a movie on TV that instantly became a favorite of mine.  Shockingly, this movie was The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.” I was too young to understand what the movie was actually about… in fact I thought it was called “The Best Little Warehouse in Texas” until I decided I wanted to find it and watch it again when I was in college. It was a shock to watch the movie through adult eyes.  I aspired to be like Dolly Parton when I was younger… my mom shut down my dreams of being Dolly Parton at an early age.  I still remember her telling me that I could never be Dolly because I would never have her chest (this was before plastic surgery was around and offered the chance for me to have her chest if I wanted it).  Dolly Parton’s Warehouse was a magical place through the innocent eyes of a child… She did not work, she had lots of fun with her other warehouse workers and they really knew how to throw a party.

I have not seen the movie in years, but last week as we drove home from the wedding, “The Aggie Song” got stuck in my head.  My twitter followers  were alerted to my frustration as I attempted to get the song out of my head, but was denied any catchy music through the local radio stations in the rural part of Virginia.

Today, we headed to my parents house in Northern Virginia.  That dang “Aggie song” got stuck in my head again! There I was stuck in the car with my husband (who was sweating profusely due to taking a challenge to eat sushi laced with Ghost Chili Peppers) and maybe his sweating was the catalyst to my memory of those Aggie boys, but there I was singing the song again in the car.

75 miles until we get to heaven

75 miles until plans are laid

75 miles until we get to the Chicken Ranch where history and Aggie boys get made. 

So if you are curious to what my husband had to endure (for two weekends) check out the song (warning:  There are some men’s bare butts in the video)…

I know,  my kids and husband must be great people not to throw me out of the car.  I think that it is a plus that it only takes over my mind in cars, because it would be far more embarrassing to break out into this dance (unless I become part of a flash mob…which will never happen).

Well, in my attempt to share this beauty of a song with you guys I came across something magical…

Cleaning with magic would be so much easier

Tags

ADHD, bewitched, cleaning

My house is a mess and honestly I don’t know when I will have time to do it.  I have had lots of after-school stuff to do and our weekends are equally as busy…

It is days like this that I wish I was a witch like Samantha from Bewitched…

I would have such a clean house if I could just wiggle my nose and wave my arms each time I wanted to clean up something.  That is my biggest problem… I know what needs to be done and I want it done.  I want everything done and now (my shrink says this due to my impulsivity and I think this is due to my impatience… but really who knows?)  So, I do a little bit of everything while never completing anything.  I have noticed that everything is more exciting than what I am doing (especially when I am supposed to be cleaning).

Dr. Peter Jaksa explains this point in his article, The Disorganized Adult.

It’s been said “The best way to get nothing done is to try doing everything at once.” For many adults with ADHD, this is not just a truism but a maddeningly frustrating way of life. 

I completely agree with the statement and agree that it is maddening.

I just want things to be done… and preferably done with magic.  Is that too much to ask?

Support for Selective Listening

Tags

funny, humor, inappropriate, school, selective listeners, t-shirts

I love my son’s Kindergarten teacher.  Honestly, she is amazing!  She posts lots of pictures and deals with moms like me that forget to send stuff like important papers back… or lose their kids folders (just to find them when they get home in a place I swear I checked).

Tonight was “Back to School” night and so I attended to find out how things were going for my wonderful progeny.  Luckily, it seems to be going well.  Most of the information was typical… fundraisers to do, sign ups for this and that, help with materials and other wish list items.

Although, my son’s Kindergarten teacher shared that the kids needed to work on listening better.  She told us that this is expected  for this time of year and it is due to the fact that most of them are 5 years-old… and well they are learning how to do this whole school thing.  I completely understand it too, because listening is not one of my strong suits (hence my facebook status post during the PTA meeting) and  I also like to talk.  My husband will attest to that.  Shockingly enough, my kids must have inherited that talking (at inappropriate times) gene from me and also like to talk.  Thankfully though, my kids are pretty good at school.  They slip up sometimes, but overall I have not had too many complaints (at least with The Girl).

So here is the thing… I think that evil twin may still be lurking because I just got an evil thought.  My son has this shirt (which I think is quite fitting) and I so want to put it on him tomorrow.

I know…. I am not going to put him in it.  Although, I think she would totally get my little joke.  It may also help him out, so when he is not listening he can just point at his shirt as an excuse.

To me this shirt is funny (because it is true), but there are a host of other shirts out there that are way more obnoxious and may send the wrong message to the teachers working with my kids.

Zazzle.com
This one doesn’t admit to anything… How dare we falsely accuse!

(source unknown)

Felon in training.

cafepress.com

I would definitely get a call if I put him in this one (by the way, this one comes in toddler sizes).

districtlines.com

What?  You did not know that school turns people into frog-looking zombies?  Well, now you do.

Book Beginnings… Miss Peregrine’s Home for Us.

Tags

book, challenge, childhood photos, family, goodreads, humor, Insatiable Booksluts, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

I have been reading Insatiable Booksluts quite a bit lately and so when they posted a challenge to participate in a challenge…for another book blog, A Few More Pages, well how could I refuse. So I headed over  to check the challenge out.
I just finished I Am Not A Serial Killer when I was on the road this weekend. Hoenestly, I was drawn in until it got…well…a bit one the freaky side. I was not expecting the book to turn the way it did and I had a hard time fighting myself to stay interested in the book for the final third.
With that said… I am on to a new book. Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ranson Riggs.
How could I not be drawn in with a first line like this one…

I had come to accept that my life would be ordinary when extraordinary things began to happen.

I think I live an ordinary life, but then again I think we are a bit peculiar in our own right.   Seriously, I think I will find that the kids in this book will share more than one similarity with us.

We go to a wedding and leave an anonymous gift.

Tags

decorating, family, fun, humor, kids, marriage, mason jar, mistakes, mommydom, weddings

It was a very exciting weekend for our family.  My husband’s cousin Amy got married. She was beautiful bride and the men looked handsome in their grey tuxedos.

The Happy Couple! Congratulations Amy and Andrew!

What a beautiful girl and view!

The setting was picture perfect too!  It was at a picturesque inn called the House Mountain Inn in Lexington, VA.  Check out the view from the deck (and how adorable my girl was that day).

They got married outside by a little man-made pond under a wooden trellis.  You can kind of see the set up behind my daughter being silly in this picture.  

They decorated with flowers that were inspired from the inn.  I loved the mason jar vases that lined the seats during the ceremony.   Although my son felt the chairs needed a bit more decoration…

The chairs needed just a little something to be more festive.

(Yep, those are post-it tabs… He said he was bored and they offered 5 minutes of entertainment)

The centerpieces were even more personalized.  The wood “chargers” were cut from a tree that came from my husband’s grandparents’ property.  We even got one of the chargers to keep.  

The best part of the wedding according to my kids… The table of sweets!  

What a fabulous idea!  It was a hit with all the kids (and adults).

We were even part of the festivities.  The Girl was a greeter and handed out programs and reminded people to sign their guest book.  My husband was the videographer.  My son was part of the entertainment…

My son entertained (and kicked many heels and legs) with his breakdancing skills.

and helped relieve them of their worries of having leftover candy.

Don't want them to have any leftovers, do we?

We also thought it would be great to leave an anonymous gift, so they could play that fun game of “wonder who this is from?”  Well, actually we did not intentionally mean to leave the gift anonymously.   On the way home, I found the card in the center console of the car… OOPS.

The card that tried to get away.

We will take credit for any  and all anonymous gifts, but really we just gave you the one bag with the cozy blanket in it.

May your future be as sweet and my son’s sweet tooth!  Thanks for including us in your special day!

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