The sun is out and the sky is blue
Mama can I go to the park with you
And she says, “just a minute”
She says, “just a minute”
Sometimes when my mama says, “just a minute”
She means more than just a minute
She means more than just a minute
And the clocks go tick, tick, tick, tick, tock
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tock…
“More than Just a Minute” from Justin Roberts’ album “Meltdown”
I use this phrase all the time! I truly mean “just a minute,” but I know sometimes it is more like 5 minutes or so. It’s like Justin Roberts can read my kids’ minds. Eerie.
So, why do I get my panties in a bunch when my husband says it to me. Even worse, when the kids say it back. I mean if I live by the golden rule then I should treat others the way I want to be treated so… I should stop saying it. If I am being honest with myself, I know this idea will not work. There will come a time when I will not be able to stop what I am doing and tend to my children’s immediate needs of turning on their favorite show or getting their after lunch treat. No, sometimes they will need to wait… until I finish what I am doing.
Yet, I am sure they could say the same about when they say it to me. I just need to wait until they are finished with what they are doing. But, it is hard not to get a tad irritated… because I wouldn’t ask if I thought they were really busy.
I just heard “In a minute,” from the Husband actually.
Here is the scenerio… I am on the toilet, because that is where I usually am after a meal (gotta love IBS), and I realized that I forgot to give the kids medicine. I see The Husband’s shoes from the bathroom and see he is relaxed on the sofa, so I call out…
Me: Are you awake?
The Husband: Yes!
Me: Can you get the kids their medicine? I forgot at dinner.
The Husband: In a minute.
(In a minute here is actually “Really, I am sleeping (cause I talk in my sleep). So, the medicine can wait until you are finished.” )
Yep, he is dead asleep on the couch. For these instances, I think we need to get in the habit of saying what we mean. I don’t think I would have been as iggitated if he had just said “yes” when I asked him if he was sleeping. The problem is that I have a really wonderful husband that does want to help. Hence, instead of saying “yes, I am sleeping,” he says “in a minute” because he really does think that he will do it. The best part of this whole scenerio, is that he will not remember this conversation. None of it.
Enough about him, if I want to make a change I should start with me…
Here is my attempt of being more honest about saying more than “Just a minute”…
The Boy: Mom, can we go to the pool now.
Me: No, we will go in a minute.
(A minute later)
The Boy: Now?
(here is where I would have reminded him that I told him “in a minute,” but I am going to try something else)
Me: What do you see here?
The Boy: Groceries.
Me: Do you think they are going to walk themselves to the shelves and into the Fridge?
The Boy: Maybe.
Me: No, they don’t have feet or brains for that matter, and without brains they cannot find the shelves or fridge. Of course, a brain would not be helpful without feet. So I will have to do that before we go. OK?
The Boy: uh-huh.
Hmmm. I need to work on something more in the middle, don’t I?
What is that kids? You are bouncing off the walls?
Of course, I could be bathing the kids and getting them ready for bed instead of getting this out, but I figured I had a minute. 🙂